The Midlife Initiation – It’s a Thing!

By the time we enter our 40’s, our psyches are ripe for checking-in with how our life is going as we acknowledge that we have arrived in a different chapter of life labeled “midlife”, whether we welcome the idea “holy crap, I’m 40” or resist it.

Like it or not, arriving at midlife is no different than other life passages, like teenage-hood or marriage/partnership or parenthood. With my background in psychology and shamanic medicine traditions I remember learning that each of these passages were “initiations” into different expressions of self, with their own challenges and opportunities for growth.

Midlife too often brings about significant changes, challenges, and opportunities, only this time it comes with an opportunity for self-reflection at an approximate half-way point in our lives. Spiritual companionship, which is a process of exploring and deepening our spiritual journey or inner life with the guidance of a trained spiritual guide, can provide valuable support and insight during this phase.

Here’s how spiritual companionship can be particularly beneficial during midlife:

1. Self-discovery and meaning-making: Midlife can prompt questions about the meaning and purpose of life, as well as a desire to explore one's values and beliefs more deeply. Spiritual companionship provides a safe and supportive space to engage in these explorations, helping individuals connect with their inner selves and find greater clarity about their spiritual path.

2. Navigating transitions: Midlife often involves significant life transitions such as career changes, empty nesting, and shifts in relationships. A professional spiritual companion can offer guidance on how to navigate these transitions from a spiritual perspective, helping individuals find balance, resilience, and a sense of grounding.

3. Healing and integration: Past experiences, both positive and challenging, can come to the forefront during midlife. Spiritual companionship can aid in the process of healing, forgiveness, and integrating these experiences into one's life story in a way that fosters growth and transformation.

4. Renewed perspective: A professional spiritual companion can help individuals examine their beliefs, assumptions, and attitudes, allowing them to develop a more expansive and open perspective on life. This can be especially valuable during midlife when people might be reevaluating their values and priorities.

5. Connection with something greater: Many individuals seek a deeper connection with something greater than themselves during midlife. Spiritual companionship can assist in exploring this desire for connection, whether it's through sacred practices, meditation, mindfulness, or other forms of spiritual engagement.

6. Coping with mortality: Midlife often brings an increased awareness of mortality. Spiritual companionship can provide a space to explore existential questions and come to terms with the finite nature of life, fostering a sense of peace and acceptance.

Soul Expressions offers a sanctuary for exploring these themes, leaning into the perennial wisdom of the ages and various spiritual traditions. The goal is to help you feel safe as we explore often-times challenging terrain from our past and present, without needing to fix anything and accepting that life can be hard.

But it can also be healing and inspiring as we look forward. So, if you find yourself in the middle part of life with questions and curiosity about the next few steps in life, book an exploration chat to see if Soul Expressions can support you.

Midlife as a Spiritual Journey

Welcome to Andorra’s Box revisited – a place designed to support women going through big life changes around the start of midlife, or just before. This is the time of life when women’s bodies, minds, emotions go through massive shifts that can lead to serious challenges if not navigated with conscious choices and support. Can you say menopause and aging? 

If you read my About page, you’ll see that my personal journey had me start to acknowledge my spiritual journey sometime around my mid-30’s, and by 40 big changes were in the wind, as they say. Now in my 60’s and knowing what I know, I strongly suggest women approaching and navigating the middle years acknowledge and nurture their spiritual lives, their faith.

Why? Because aging can get uncomfortable and midlife offers a huge opportunity to see your life as an important piece in the web of life - ie, who you are and why you are here. This is an existential impulse, a spiritual issue, a “why-am-I-here?” issue.

So if you identify as “spiritual” or are at least curious about your inner life, here are 8 characteristic and ways spirituality can show up from the late-30’s to early 60s via thoughts and feelings - see if any resonate with you:

1. A desire to find meaning: This is the “what’s my life all about?” question. Or what did certain life events, circumstance, people mean? Why did things happen the way they did?

2. Shifting perspectives about the roles we play: Midlife is when we transition from roles that dominated our earlier years, such as parenting or career-building. This opens up opportunities for self-discovery and exploring new aspects of our identity, including the spiritual dimension.

3. Finding inspiration in nature and the cycles of life: Noticing how nature changes and renews itself can awaken our connection with something bigger than ourselves - a “natural intelligence” that we are all part of.

4. Realizing the importance of health and wellbeing: Our own health can spark a focus on holistic well-being, including mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.

5. Wanting deeper, more meaningful connections: As our roles shift, we often crave connection with like-minded women who are also seeking meaning and sisterhood as we age.

6. Questioning old goals and desiring more soul: shifting toward a more soul-centered way of living can lead to increased compassion, empathy, and a deeper connection to others.

7. Wanting to heal challenging parts of our lives: spirituality can help tend to deep hurts and repair younger versions of our selves.

8. Wanting support for losses: spirit enters the room when we are grieving, often with unexpected yet welcome gifts.

Acknowledging these inner currents can help shape our journeys and steer away from what they say about having a midlife crisis. Leaning into these concerns can instead offer a midlife awakening.

Every woman's entry into and navigation through midlife is obviously unique.

Honouring the impulses of the soul is the way to go through midlife - the eternal part of each of us needs to be acknowledged as we age, otherwise the pains of the past will define how we age.

So “Midlife as a Spiritual Journey” is now the theme of Andorra’s Box, and there’s lots to share about the opportunities and challenges of the midlife passage….so stay tuned, stay curious.

And if you are curious about your own soul journey, let’s chat.

(You can read about my midlife awakening in previous blog entries, numbered 1-7.)

1) Awaken : Love : Wonder - Answering the call to come alive

Originally published on 25 May, 2017

“I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive” ~ Joseph Campbell

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where it's like, uggghh......I just can't?

Like, I can't keep living a groundhog day of over-&-over-&-over again routines that offer little-to-no satisfaction, or fulfillment. Maybe it's a job that drains more than inspires. Maybe it's a relationship that's lost it's fire. Maybe it's a preventable health issue that makes daily living feel like a chore. Or maybe it's the daily stress or low-grade "inner ick" that's being tolerated - only it’s no longer tolerable and might even be contributing to burn-out, fatigue, depression, or physical ailments.

I've gotten to that point a couple of times during my adult life, and it ain't fun.

But as a woman invested in ongoing personal and professional development, I've kept myself inspired by staying focused on ongoing learning and regular adventures to help me show up everyday and be a functioning member of society.

Over a decade ago, I went to a workshop offered by an executive leadership consultant recommended by a Buddhist buddy of mine, and I heard a quote that would get so under my skin that it would end up activating a series of events that would change the trajectory of my career and life.

It’s that often-quoted “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” by African-American author, philosopher, theologian, educator, and civil rights leader Howard Thurman.

That was the theme of the workshop - coming alive - but I wondered “what does that even mean - ‘come alive?’

The workshop was at a lovely retreat center in a forested area in BC, and as I ate my lunch alone by a babbling brook amongst the trees, I began to feel a bit anxious, so I looked around and noticed how peaceful my surroundings made me feel. Yet by the end of the day, I was thoroughly disturbed by an inner assessment that I was so NOT where I wanted to be in life. I didn’t feel the kind of alive they were talking about – I was stressed out and looking for change.

I wanted to come alive. I wanted more purpose and vitality. I wanted to make a difference like I used to when I worked in non-profit – I was working in tech where I wasn’t sure of my contribution to the “greater good”.

Soon after the workshop, under the influence of a growing desire to use my talents for something more meaningful, I made some hard decisions to leave my job and pursue something more inspiring. But when this was accompanied by what I know now was a spiritual awakening, what I had planned turned into a “calling” that would force some big changes that were uncomfortable, but rewarding in the end - because at last, I was about to come alive.

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Answering a call to "come alive" or other versions of that - like answering "what's my purpose?" or "why am I here?" - is not for the faint of heart - it invites us to expand beyond conditioned comfort. It's worth the journey if you go "all-in", and the journey is different and personal for every one of us.

I’ll spare the details for now because this is the beginning of a series of posts that highlight some of my process during the "answering-the-call-to-come alive" in the hopes of supporting anyone answering their own call to “come alive”, or just move forward in life in a meaningful way. I'll add that the story I'm sharing follows the "soul awakening" journey that guides women into and through the midlife phase of life.

But I’ll leave you with this: the image above is a collage made during an annual event called “Soul Art Day” hosted by Soul Artist Laura Hollick. I worked with Laura several years ago to help ignite and reclaim parts of myself that have been important for my “coming alive” - my inner artist and mystic. Using a process called “body-mapping”, this piece is actually a visual story of how I went from a seasoned communications professional to becoming the animisticly inspired spiritual director I am now. It’s full of magic, dreams, miracles and symbols that are personal, yet universal, and feel super empowering to me, and shows what can happen when you open to the guidance of your soul.

So that’s all I’ll say for now for this first “story blog” post - click on my About if you want to know what's behind the name Andorra's Box. I hope you’ll come on this journey with me, cuz there’s some pretty neat stories to unfold here, with themes of surrendering to a calling, healing the heart, igniting creativity, and leaning into love and life's gifts with grace.

Thanks for reading, and here’s to our aliveness!