1) Awaken : Love : Wonder - Answering the call to come alive

Originally published on 25 May, 2017

“I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive” ~ Joseph Campbell

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where it's like, uggghh......I just can't?

Like, I can't keep living a groundhog day of over-&-over-&-over again routines that offer little-to-no satisfaction, or fulfillment. Maybe it's a job that drains more than inspires. Maybe it's a relationship that's lost it's fire. Maybe it's a preventable health issue that makes daily living feel like a chore. Or maybe it's the daily stress or low-grade "inner ick" that's being tolerated - only it’s no longer tolerable and might even be contributing to burn-out, fatigue, depression, or physical ailments.

I've gotten to that point a couple of times during my adult life, and it ain't fun.

But as a woman invested in ongoing personal and professional development, I've kept myself inspired by staying focused on ongoing learning and regular adventures to help me show up everyday and be a functioning member of society.

Over a decade ago, I went to a workshop offered by an executive leadership consultant recommended by a Buddhist buddy of mine, and I heard a quote that would get so under my skin that it would end up activating a series of events that would change the trajectory of my career and life.

It’s that often-quoted “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” by African-American author, philosopher, theologian, educator, and civil rights leader Howard Thurman.

That was the theme of the workshop - coming alive - but I wondered “what does that even mean - ‘come alive?’

The workshop was at a lovely retreat center in a forested area in BC, and as I ate my lunch alone by a babbling brook amongst the trees, I began to feel a bit anxious, so I looked around and noticed how peaceful my surroundings made me feel. Yet by the end of the day, I was thoroughly disturbed by an inner assessment that I was so NOT where I wanted to be in life. I didn’t feel the kind of alive they were talking about – I was stressed out and looking for change.

I wanted to come alive. I wanted more purpose and vitality. I wanted to make a difference like I used to when I worked in non-profit – I was working in tech where I wasn’t sure of my contribution to the “greater good”.

Soon after the workshop, under the influence of a growing desire to use my talents for something more meaningful, I made some hard decisions to leave my job and pursue something more inspiring. But when this was accompanied by what I know now was a spiritual awakening, what I had planned turned into a “calling” that would force some big changes that were uncomfortable, but rewarding in the end - because at last, I was about to come alive.

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Answering a call to "come alive" or other versions of that - like answering "what's my purpose?" or "why am I here?" - is not for the faint of heart - it invites us to expand beyond conditioned comfort. It's worth the journey if you go "all-in", and the journey is different and personal for every one of us.

I’ll spare the details for now because this is the beginning of a series of posts that highlight some of my process during the "answering-the-call-to-come alive" in the hopes of supporting anyone answering their own call to “come alive”, or just move forward in life in a meaningful way. I'll add that the story I'm sharing follows the "soul awakening" journey that guides women into and through the midlife phase of life.

But I’ll leave you with this: the image above is a collage made during an annual event called “Soul Art Day” hosted by Soul Artist Laura Hollick. I worked with Laura several years ago to help ignite and reclaim parts of myself that have been important for my “coming alive” - my inner artist and mystic. Using a process called “body-mapping”, this piece is actually a visual story of how I went from a seasoned communications professional to becoming the animisticly inspired spiritual director I am now. It’s full of magic, dreams, miracles and symbols that are personal, yet universal, and feel super empowering to me, and shows what can happen when you open to the guidance of your soul.

So that’s all I’ll say for now for this first “story blog” post - click on my About if you want to know what's behind the name Andorra's Box. I hope you’ll come on this journey with me, cuz there’s some pretty neat stories to unfold here, with themes of surrendering to a calling, healing the heart, igniting creativity, and leaning into love and life's gifts with grace.

Thanks for reading, and here’s to our aliveness!

2) The Art of Change…

Originally published on 7 July, 2017

...and the value of honest soul-searching.

Have you ever felt stuck, like in life? At a fork in the road, looking at options, maybe facing some unknowns – maybe in a rut? It's pretty common, and often necessary if you want to live the life you're meant to, in my humble opinion.

In my first post I wrote about an experience that poked me on the inside when I went to a workshop that triggered a call to “come alive”. I was feeling pretty stuck, and at the time, I was a successful Change Management professional for a growing business intelligence software company during the turn of the millennium. I loved and thrived working there, and it required a certain comfort level with change and growth and came with oodles of opportunities to exercise my creative muscles, only we called it “developing competencies” - problem-solving, innovation, teamwork, leadership, etc.

As it aligned with my personal life, my career successes gave me some pretty sweet fruits to enjoy, yet as time moved on and the company was swallowed by bigger corporate fish (such is the world of tech), the rate of change became more challenging to manage professionally. I wondered what else was possible career-wise, and some personal issues were aching for attention - my health, my creative desires, my shifting values, my interests in holistic wellness - so I started tuning to what I and others call the “inner compass” because I could no longer see my future on the trajectory I was on. This was pretty scary because I had invested a lot of time and energy into my professional life.

So I activated my soul-searching muscles - asking "if I'm not happy, what am I going to do about it?" - which wasn’t unusual for me, being a “grow with the flow” kinda gal.

But my inner compass pointed me straight to the edge of a cliff and said “wake up and look around – it’s time for a soul adventure”. The part of me that loves variety and a good challenge was craving relief from the stress of work, so allowing the inner tension to guide me, I knew and felt my instincts telling me my time at the company was coming to an end. I flirted with the idea of moving on - lots of my colleagues were doing it since recent corporate restructuring - and when I got honest with myself, I accepted that I wanted to go back to school then work as a consultant. I felt it coming for a while and indulged some "what if?" type imagining - after all, I had a bunch of experience and knew colleagues who were finding success as consultants.

When a wise friend referenced the quote “leap and the net will appear,” my insides rumbled and an inner voice asked "are you really going to keep living like this?" (i.e. stressed out and uninspired). So without a real plan for what I'd do next, I jumped, I leaped - I resigned and got to work researching schools. It felt liberating AND scary – I love learning and academic pursuits but I was on my own, away from the colleagues I adored and had become like family. I kept in touch with a few of them as they cheer-led me on - “go self-actualize!” one of them said. I also heard “fly - be free!” and “damn, you've got guts” and everyday on my way home, I passed graffiti on an abandoned truck that read “Reach tha stars,” which I interpreted as "raise your sights high and see a bigger picture" when it came to my circumstances.

Change was in the wind...again. I had been here before, transitioning between jobs - the last big one over a decade before resulted in a cross-country move and whole lot of opportunity - so what could go wrong?

So within 3 months of leaving work, I was back at school in a program that would certify me as a "Wellness Counsellor" - yay! I went in with the enthusiasm of a true academic keener, and after the novelty of the change of scenery wore off, that’s when life got REALLY interesting, and where I’ll leave things for now. There's a heroine's journey to unfold here…

These days, my practices of reflection and contemplation are almost daily activities, so I finish here, as the summer sun sets and the waxing moon rises, wondering how many people are feeling stuck right now…..hmmmmm…..probably a lot. I hope they pay attention.

Thanks for reading, dear you!

PS: if these words reach anyone who feels stuck read this.

3) Psssst… How’s your heart?

Originally published 25 July, 2017

You know when you meet someone new, it's kind of programmed into us to pleasantly ask "what do you do?" meaning "what do you do for a living?" So when I tell people I’m a “spiritual director, mentor and coach” they usually get the “mentor and coach” part, but follow up with “what’s a spiritual director?”

So depending on who I’m talking to, I usually say something like "it's a special kind of counseling where I partner with people to help them process life's questions, challenges, and opportunities through a spiritual lens," which usually then elicits a conversation about my experience and credentials.

Being part of a community of other spiritual directors, it's comforting to see this is an ongoing conversation we have - what do we do? There's agreement we listen. There's agreement we invite soul, spirit, god, the universe into the room. There's agreement we are all on a journey. There's agreement compassion fuels our core.

I recently received my July issue of Listen, the beauty-and-wisdom filled bulletin I get from Spiritual Directors International, and alongside a poem called Anahata* is the description:

“Spiritual Directors are individuals committed to helping others seek and find connection with a higher power, however that power might be defined…and regardless of the particular spiritual configuration or orientation of the directors and seekers.”

As I read, I noted "there's that word: 'seeker'" - I had been called that a few times in my life, and didn't really know what it meant until I looked it up a few years ago when I was processing my own options.

When I felt the simplicity of the definition of seeker....hmmmm attempting to find something....I wondered, "what was I looking to find?" A 'higher power?' I don't know about that. No. I just wanted peace of mind and a plan.

In my first two posts where I talked about my call to “come alive” and “the leap” I made to answer that call, I was tending to some challenging self-realizations that I had possibly gotten “off course” in my life, which felt pretty serious and solemn (has that ever happened to you?)

I had been asking myself things like “why did certain things happen the way they did?”, and “how did I get HERE?” and “what now?”

So after I left my job, I was pretty happy to get back to school and enrolled in a program to become a Wellness Counsellor - I had already embraced some wellness focused goals to address some minor health issues, and I was feeling great. But as much as I was enthused to take a new professional tack, with my sights set on becoming a wellness consultant after I finished my program, things went sideways pretty quick. I soon learned the program wouldn’t give me the credentials I wanted. Then I blamed myself for enrolling before asking some important questions.

This realization triggered internal nervousness and feelings of OMG - what am I doing? So I reflected on what I had to work with: in support of my wellness goals, I had been exercising my spiritual muscles with a yoga and meditation practice. I read voraciously, watched inspiring new movies about consciousness, and was a member of the Institute of Noetic Science which came with their magazine Shift. I was also a regular reader of local free zines called Common Ground and Shared Vision, and, all together, these focuses inspired a holistic and maybe spiritual approach to assessing my ongoing education and professional aspirations.

This felt a bit strange, being a card-carrying agnostic atheist, believing less in one higher power and more in the mystery of life.

So I went to meditation sanghas at my local Buddhist center and learned about suffering and finding “refuge in the Buddha.” I went to wellness expos for inspiration, where I was given a little card from an exhibitor - it said “Help can come as a nudge, a dream, or a quiet voice within you.”
I asked for advice from friends and former colleagues - one of them introduced me to the concept of the “higher self” and advised "pay attention to your dreams at night." Then she shared how to call on four specific archangels for healing and guidance. Angels? Really? OK, I'll try anything at this point.

I had enriching conversations with other seekers and teachers, and soon my intuition started to tune into the idea that my time in the program might not last much longer.

And soon after that, the “whispers” started - I started to hear that inner quiet voice that people told me about! It took me by surprise because it seemed to be me, but not me - it was like it was from somewhere else.

On my way home one evening, as the sun was setting, I walked by the truck that had the Reach Tha Stars graffiti on it, when I heard one of those whispers - “look down.” And there by the curb was a broken coffee mug with hearts all over it. I gulped and choked on my breath and started to tear up a little, and didn't know why. I stopped, took a deep breath - then I heard “it’s time to mend all your broken hearts.” Somewhat surprised, I kept walking, only with a sinking feeling, feeling the emotional weight of piled up hurts and regrets. Ugh.

But I had been practicing walking meditation, and the early autumn evening breeze and the golden sunset seemed to invite me back to "the now." So I took some deep breaths, slowed my pace, and started to enjoy the fresh air and the light and the sounds of my neighbourhood. Even though I registered what had just happened, I mused "how's THAT for the power of now?", which I was reading at the time (The Power of Now, by Ekhart Tolle).

And thus began the first chapter of what I would later call my “cosmic time-out,” which was all about surrendering to my heart and becoming a bona-fide card-carrying spiritual seeker (which is a pre-requisite for becoming a Spiritual Director, by the way).

So I end this post with a question: when was the last time you listened to your whispers, or your still small voice - has it even happened to you? Or tended to the needs of your heart? Or acknowledged you might be a seeker too. Not sure? Then get in touch and let’s chat.

Thanks for reading, until next time…..

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*Anahata means "unstruck note" in Sanskrit and refers to the heart chakra and is associated with balance, calmness, and serenity. Here is the poem by Yogacharya Ellen Grace O'Brian:

ANAHATA

Listen with presencelike the fingers of a cellistlisten to the strings

Like the moon listens to the sunlike a bee listens to the fuschia bell

and loses himself in the whorl

Like the mind listens to the heart

tastes the sound of bliss

and the Self again.

4) Waking Up to Wonder

Originally published on 7 September, 2017

“When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.”

Eckhart Tolle

Last week I learned of the passing of someone who had a big impact on my life, Hay House founder and author of You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay.

Seeing the news made my heart twinge a bit, but it wasn’t really a surprise - she was 90, she lived a rich life, and it was reported that she died of natural causes, with loved ones at her side. What a way to go. Thank you, Madame Hay.

It made me pause to reflect about the wobbly period in my life when I was hooked to Hay House Radio, remembering the time I got on the air with author and teacher Dr. Steven Farmer, who’s show was about shamanism. That day he was talking about animal spirit guides, a subject close to my heart.

It was a sunny spring day at my mom’s house - the house I grew up in - I had recently returned from a life-changing shamanic intensive, and was eager to learn about shamanism. Still working on my morning coffee, I was excited to see Dr. Farmer’s show coming up. So I tuned in, and on impulse called into the show, crossing my fingers I’d get through. When the show’s producer picked up my call, I felt an exuberant rush of excitement along with “OMG…better organize my thoughts!”

On the air, I shared my question about my dreams about animals as Dr. Farmer listened. Then, with enthusiasm, he let me know that Moose was a “power helper” for me at that time, and that I was on the right track and had a lot to be proud of. I felt a wave of "bliss shivers" and took it in, totally enchanted…..Wow, Moose!

After the call finished, with deep gratitude, I thanked the universe as I anchored the sense of “I’m going to be OK.”

And it was all because of Louise Hay.

Animal spirit guides are a major source of wisdom for me (and many) and here’s why. At the end of my last post, where I had the realization that maybe I needed to undertake some “heart healing,” animal spirit guides showed up in my dreams and became sources of information as I tried to work out my plans for ongoing education and career planning. So picking up from where I left off in my last post....

After leaving a career in communications to go back to school, I started to feel the pull of home - the place where I grew up - over 4,000 km from where I lived. I sensed the ending of one life chapter, and the need to get ready for a new one.

I committed to completing the semester of the program I was in, which would give me a certification in Life Coaching, then assess my next steps upon completion.

For a few days after receiving my certification, I felt lost and confused, yet aware of what felt like "magic in the air." Synchronicities started piling up and my dreams exploded with recurring visits from wolves and bears - they weren’t scary dreams - they were “invitational” - like come hang out with us.

On the outside, I brushed up my resume and went back to work, taking a few contracts here and there. Then over the course of a year, it was three big road trips that finally helped bring things into focus. First, it was a trip across BC and the Rockies that fed my soul with breathtaking scenery, and brought delightful encounters with ravens, stellar jays, a porcupine and a groundhog at a roadside rest area.

Then a stay at a friend’s hand-built-off the-grid cabin at the end of a remote alpine lake, accessible only by boat, brought heart-expanding ecstatic connection to that natural world - it was a family of loons, daily visits from a kingfisher, fires on the beach, the crystal clear night sky, and the wild beauty of an ever-pulsing ecosystem that whispered guidance: “go be with your family.”

Finally, while helping a friend move to Los Angeles, it was our drive down the wild west coast of Washington, Oregon, and California that showed me the wide open spaces of the Pacific ocean and it’s every-changing light and weather. It was somewhere along the coast of Oregon that I felt what true stillness feels like - aware, expanded and at peace.

I also felt my heart’s desire to spread my wings and fly.

All tolled, and with 20/20 hindsight awareness, these experiences affirmed that my life circumstances were stale, and too small for what my heart really needed: the transformative opportunities that come with change.

And that's where I leave things for now.

Next time, I’ll tell you about the last leap of faith that nearly broke me.

In the meantime, I wonder what YOUR heart really needs as we coast through the last four months of 2017? I invite you to ask yourself before you go to bed tonight "what does my heart need right now?", then see if any creature teachers show up in your dreams :-)

Note: all photos are all mine , except for Moose, c/o Unsplash.

5) Beauty in the Breakdown, Part 1

Originally published on 16 September, 2017

As swimmers dare

to lie face to the sky

and water bears them,

as hawks rest upon air

and air sustains them,

so would l learn to attain

freefall, and float

into Creator Spirit's deep embrace

knowing no effort earns

that all surrounding grace.

~Denise Levertov

Nine years ago today, September 15, 2008, it was official: my condo went on the market and two months later the sale closed, launching me into one of the most challenging experiences of my life - being “homeless,” jobless, and in the middle of a “dark night of the soul.”

Sounds dramatic, huh?

When I found the above poem years ago, I latched onto it as the perfect descriptor for the energies I was feeling during this dark night; the themes of surrender and trust (free-fall) spoke to the leaps of faith and the grace that were opening my awareness to a way to live that made room for love, creativity, play and wisdom. But did I know that then, as I made big decisions and changes.

Previous Andorra’s Box posts outlined how I arrived at a soul-awakening crossroads via a change up in my career, and this one picks up in the middle of the spiritual “sabbatical for the soul” I was experiencing - a period of adjustment characterized by the three inspiring road trips I described in my last post, and the clarity I was looking for when it came to assessing my options for education and career.

My gut instincts and inner guidance system (the inner GPS we all have) had me feeling like I had strayed from my “soul path” and it was time course-correct.

So after weighing things out, taking in counsel from loved ones and some mentors, I made the decision to move "back home." I planned the move with a close friend who was going through a similar life examination, pulling up roots to go be with family. Both of us had aging parents with health issues and we wanted to be nearby.

The decision ignited a rush of energy - it all felt like a really big deal. The prospect of a new beginning dangled in front of me like a golden carrot, but not before taking the steps to set up my life over 4,000 km away.

That was the summer I harnessed all the personal development tools I had to support my thoughts and mood, because I started to feel like I was careening into an abyss of self-sabotage made from poor life choices. I left my job to follow a dream. I left my school because it wasn't the right fit. I was going through a trippy spiritual awakening. I was pretty sure it all had something to do with that mid-life crisis thing.

But deep down I knew something was calling me. All those dreams, the visions, the synchronicities, the whispers. This had something to do with my soul, my inner knowing.

So I prepped my condo to sell, put it on the market, then activated the Law of Attraction to help me achieve my goal of moving with abundance and ease. My friend did the same, as we prayed for things to work out with timing. And things did work out. Within two months, our condos sold for higher than asking price, so we packed up our lives and loaded them into a U-Haul.

Two days before we left, my friend and I took his dog for a walk along Iona Spit to experience our last Pacific coast sunset. It was the night of the full moon in November and there was a quiet peace that descended on us. We didn’t talk much, and I don’t know about him, but as I walked and took in the changing light, I could feel my breath deepening into my belly. My core, my heart was cracking wide open, facing the setting sun and the end of a 13 year long chapter of my life living on the west coast.

I felt grief arriving.

I wailed on the inside.

Totally. Cracked. Open.

Broken.

But there at the mouth of the Fraser River meeting the Straight of Georgia was the setting sun, with the rising full moon in the east shining over the water. It inspired me and helped me remember that even in times of change, some things stay the same.

Iona sun

Iona full moon

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As an avid reader, I have found immense wisdom and understanding about the life journey through study of various spiritual traditions. One of the books that helped bring things into perspective as I rode the waves of change and transformation that came with the next phases of the journey was this one:

Most of us go through hard times in our lives, we experience loss, maybe have serious issues in some aspect of life, we make mistakes, life happens. But it never means we’re broken, even though it can feel that way sometimes. We’re just human, and if you look for the silver lining to any challenge, you'll find light.

I found this out for myself somewhere in the middle of the prairies between Calgary and Medicine Hat, when everything became a light-filled blur - more on that in Part 2.

6) Beauty in the Breakdown, Part 2

Originally published on 26 November, 2017

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker

Dear readers, I started writing this on the eve of my birthday at the start of October when fifty-three years ago, I was getting ready to enter this loud bright crazy beautiful world and would be born looking like, according to my mother, an “angry Eskimo.”

As I laboured to shape words for this next instalment, l welcomed celebrations of my birthday and felt pretty darn good. But then some stuff happened that took my attention, emotions, and motivations elsewhere.

After attending an inspiring workshop called Blossoming Over 50, the #metoo thing happened. Then Gord Downie died (he was 53 just like me) - a big deal for Tragically Hip fans. Then the work I do at a local crystal and metaphysical shop took me into the “Underworld” to hold space for some special souls doing deep transformational work - that meant being ok in the shadow-lands of the psyche.

I was also working with a genius colleague who's helping me brand my business Soul Expressions, and we worked through a process to clarify why I do what I do in life - this required the recall of empowering stories AND the stories of character building challenges.

To top things off, a couple visits to the Art Gallery of Ontario to see the Guillermo Del Toro exhibit reminded me about my early life growing up around books, art, and movies. I felt my inner weirdo re-awaken as I saw collectables I recognized and books that were in our house - I was flooded with memories of my girlhood and family. That’s what you get when you are the somewhat bookish and artsy daughter of two academics.

All tolled, October reminded me about the “emotional and spiritual weight” of my life. Again.

I got so tired of stories about my past, including the one I’m continuing below, and I resisted writing. So I negotiated with myself “Oh well. Maybe November will be better to get back to writing - maybe some live music c/o Arcade Fire and Broken Social Scene and that full Taurus moon can help get my spark back.” 

Arcade Fire

Then on November 11, I remembered an important anniversary - 6 years earlier, I stepped into my “teacher shoes” and ran my first class at a local crystal shop. It was called Embracing Your Authentic Self: A path of transformation through the Akashic Records. (For those into numerology, that was on November 11, 2011, 11-11-11 - a perfect day to launch something new!)

The memory of that day sank-in in a surreal way. It was surreal because I didn’t plan on becoming a spiritual teacher, or open a spiritual counselling practice at the local crystal shop, but that’s what happens when you say “yes” to your soul journey.

Eventually all the weight and heaviness I was feeling earlier shifted to a deep abiding appreciation for how rich I feel at this time of year, as we head towards winter. Perfect to pick my story back up about answering the call of the soul….

A quick re-cap - into my 40’s, life turned upside down as I assessed career and relationship issues while navigating a spiritual awakening and asking “what makes me come alive?” This culminated in choosing to pick up roots, move and re-invent myself. You can read about it in my previous posts.

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Have you ever wondered what it must feel like for a caterpillar in its cocoon, dissolving into a pile of goo, reforming, and emerging as a butterfly? I have. Butterflies are THE symbol for transformation and moving from one state of being to another - perfect as a symbol for alchemy and reinvention, and turning the lead in life into gold.

By the time I was headed home to begin the next chapter of my life, I was in a goo-like state, dissolving, and feeling broken as I traveled across Canada at the start of winter. After the first leg of our journey through BC and the Rockies, my friend, his dog Jake, my cat Maggie and I sailed across the Prairies with our lives packed in a Uhaul.

I worked hard to not let my thoughts of brokenness hook me - I had a clean slate of opportunity to set up a life to my liking. I sensed how FREE I was - there on the long ribbon of the Trans Canada highway, with the wheat harvest ready to be picked up, and the open sky full of sun filling up my senses with light, I breathed it all in and felt myself relaxing as my chest expanded.

As I gazed from the passenger side window out over miles and miles of fields, the light cast a mystical glow - it seemed liquid, full of a myriad of colours - my friend’s dog even saw that mystical glow. And soon I was enchanted with feelings of possibility. The thoughts about my situation - i.e., leaving a chapter of life behind for the unknown one ahead - ceased having any influence on how I felt. My breath sank into my belly, and all I wanted to do was fly. Surrendered and calm, I entertained the music in my head - the Tragically Hip’s Wheat Kings drifted through my mind….let’s just see what tomorrow brings…

But by the time we rolled into Regina, winter had set in - it was dark and cold, and the closer we got to home, the realities of life came back. I recoiled into myself, sinking into what felt like a dark depression, and when I arrived back in my hometown and reconnected with family, all I wanted to do was collapse and sleep through the winter. So I kinda did.

Thankfully, I was fortunate enough to have some time to figure out my next steps, and while I did, I was compelled to tend to my desire to reclaim my creativity. I hired a Soul Coach and found a Soul Artist to do some intensive creative work - this ignited a creative healing journey and lots of collage making. I booked a few Akashic Records consultations to gain some empowered perspective and devoted myself to deep self-care, reading Women Who Run with the Wolves and other books (some pictured below). Soon enough I began researching schools that offered holistic psychotherapy certification - I wanted to turn the existential content of my past experiences into something helpful for others, while aligning with a life that felt more authentic, and true to my interests and shifting values.

As I rested and read, winter’s light lengthened and a specific “calling” came into my awareness - my meditations brought visions, and dreams showed that the way forward required a shamanic initiation and a deep surrender to operating one step at a time with eyes focused on opening a unique counselling or coaching practice.

By the time spring rolled around things began falling into place - mentors and teachers showed up and new soul tribe started forming. I got excited as synchronicities helped open a new vision of life. Every decision, every action I took felt like a divinely choreographed step, and the fresh spring air and sunshine fed my body, mind and soul.

Things really made sense after I received the rites of the Munay-Ki and participated in the shamanic ceremonies and processes that shaped the spring and summer of my first year back. By fall, I would be back in school and well on the way to where I am today, offering services as a spiritual director.

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That was almost 10 years ago, so as 2017 winds down, I allow for a refinement process to propel my next steps and the rest of the year. It's time to savour the gifts of the past, the lessons, the bounty of blessings that come from being willing to change, and to sink into deep appreciation for all the support that held me through my last reinvention.

Now there are presents to make, time to spend with loved ones, fires to be stoked, and laughs to be had.

See you in December for a final end-of year summary of how to respond to a soul-inspired call to come alive - thanks for reading!

7) Letting the Light In

Originally published on 30 December, 2017

“Said the river: imagine everything you can imagine, then keep on going.” – Mary Oliver

As I write this, there’s a full moon at my back, a super full moon rising in the eastern winter sky, reflecting light through one of my east-facing windows. I was catching up with an old friend on the phone as the moon rose, huge and bright, as we shared stories about our lives, how we’re completing 2017, and where our sights are focused in 2018. Both of us celebrated the recent winter solstice and the return of sunlight as the new year arrives.

As we chatted, my sight was only on the moon. I took in the wonder I feel when I gaze at what nature has to offer, whether it’s a full moon, the delicate blooms of flowers, the hypnotic multi-sensory experience of a waterfall, or how animals act in their natural environment.

I had just written a blog article for the shop I offer services at about how this moon, and the New Year’s cross into 2018 is a little bit special, depending on how each of us is moving through life. It was my last piece of work for 2017, so it felt good to catch up with a friend before wrapping up the day with this little post.

So in the spirit of the new year energies, for the next few days I’ll be reflecting on how this past year has offered much in growth and challenge and awareness and opportunity and change - not all of it pleasant, a lot of it inspiring, most of it transforming, and all of it landing in a well of gratitude for what will be coming with me into 2018. I invite you to do the same.

One thing I've noticed in my spiritual direction/soul coaching practice is that I saw more people in 2017 who want to live soul centred lives connected to their “soul callings”. And because we don't really teach that in school or value it in modern life, I and my colleagues have noticed an increase in people wanting holistic body-mind-soul supports for aspects of life that our modern-day institutions don't really supply.

So as we end one calendar year and get ready for a new one, my heart goes out to anyone who wants to live more true to themselves, or authentically. Or, like me a decade ago, who wants to explore what makes them come alive.

In January, I will be offering some events locally in Toronto at The Rock Store, teaching people how to align with nature’s rhythms for better flow in 2018. And stay tuned to my Soul Expressions practice as it gets a facelift and a new logo over the winter! These are the ventures that feed my sense of purpose and fulfillment today, and as a work-in-progress, the things that will carry me into more love, prosperity, and joy in the coming days, weeks, and months.

For now though, I wish everyone reading this the love you desire as we enter 2018. Time to release 2017's lessons and prayers into a full moon fire ceremony.

Photo by Joshua Newton

Peace and joy-filled wishes to you — Happy New Year!