2) The Art of Change…

Originally published on 7 July, 2017

...and the value of honest soul-searching.

Have you ever felt stuck, like in life? At a fork in the road, looking at options, maybe facing some unknowns – maybe in a rut? It's pretty common, and often necessary if you want to live the life you're meant to, in my humble opinion.

In my first post I wrote about an experience that poked me on the inside when I went to a workshop that triggered a call to “come alive”. I was feeling pretty stuck, and at the time, I was a successful Change Management professional for a growing business intelligence software company during the turn of the millennium. I loved and thrived working there, and it required a certain comfort level with change and growth and came with oodles of opportunities to exercise my creative muscles, only we called it “developing competencies” - problem-solving, innovation, teamwork, leadership, etc.

As it aligned with my personal life, my career successes gave me some pretty sweet fruits to enjoy, yet as time moved on and the company was swallowed by bigger corporate fish (such is the world of tech), the rate of change became more challenging to manage professionally. I wondered what else was possible career-wise, and some personal issues were aching for attention - my health, my creative desires, my shifting values, my interests in holistic wellness - so I started tuning to what I and others call the “inner compass” because I could no longer see my future on the trajectory I was on. This was pretty scary because I had invested a lot of time and energy into my professional life.

So I activated my soul-searching muscles - asking "if I'm not happy, what am I going to do about it?" - which wasn’t unusual for me, being a “grow with the flow” kinda gal.

But my inner compass pointed me straight to the edge of a cliff and said “wake up and look around – it’s time for a soul adventure”. The part of me that loves variety and a good challenge was craving relief from the stress of work, so allowing the inner tension to guide me, I knew and felt my instincts telling me my time at the company was coming to an end. I flirted with the idea of moving on - lots of my colleagues were doing it since recent corporate restructuring - and when I got honest with myself, I accepted that I wanted to go back to school then work as a consultant. I felt it coming for a while and indulged some "what if?" type imagining - after all, I had a bunch of experience and knew colleagues who were finding success as consultants.

When a wise friend referenced the quote “leap and the net will appear,” my insides rumbled and an inner voice asked "are you really going to keep living like this?" (i.e. stressed out and uninspired). So without a real plan for what I'd do next, I jumped, I leaped - I resigned and got to work researching schools. It felt liberating AND scary – I love learning and academic pursuits but I was on my own, away from the colleagues I adored and had become like family. I kept in touch with a few of them as they cheer-led me on - “go self-actualize!” one of them said. I also heard “fly - be free!” and “damn, you've got guts” and everyday on my way home, I passed graffiti on an abandoned truck that read “Reach tha stars,” which I interpreted as "raise your sights high and see a bigger picture" when it came to my circumstances.

Change was in the wind...again. I had been here before, transitioning between jobs - the last big one over a decade before resulted in a cross-country move and whole lot of opportunity - so what could go wrong?

So within 3 months of leaving work, I was back at school in a program that would certify me as a "Wellness Counsellor" - yay! I went in with the enthusiasm of a true academic keener, and after the novelty of the change of scenery wore off, that’s when life got REALLY interesting, and where I’ll leave things for now. There's a heroine's journey to unfold here…

These days, my practices of reflection and contemplation are almost daily activities, so I finish here, as the summer sun sets and the waxing moon rises, wondering how many people are feeling stuck right now…..hmmmmm…..probably a lot. I hope they pay attention.

Thanks for reading, dear you!

PS: if these words reach anyone who feels stuck read this.