1) Awaken : Love : Wonder - Answering the call to come alive

Originally published on 25 May, 2017

“I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive” ~ Joseph Campbell

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where it's like, uggghh......I just can't?

Like, I can't keep living a groundhog day of over-&-over-&-over again routines that offer little-to-no satisfaction, or fulfillment. Maybe it's a job that drains more than inspires. Maybe it's a relationship that's lost it's fire. Maybe it's a preventable health issue that makes daily living feel like a chore. Or maybe it's the daily stress or low-grade "inner ick" that's being tolerated - only it’s no longer tolerable and might even be contributing to burn-out, fatigue, depression, or physical ailments.

I've gotten to that point a couple of times during my adult life, and it ain't fun.

But as a woman invested in ongoing personal and professional development, I've kept myself inspired by staying focused on ongoing learning and regular adventures to help me show up everyday and be a functioning member of society.

Over a decade ago, I went to a workshop offered by an executive leadership consultant recommended by a Buddhist buddy of mine, and I heard a quote that would get so under my skin that it would end up activating a series of events that would change the trajectory of my career and life.

It’s that often-quoted “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” by African-American author, philosopher, theologian, educator, and civil rights leader Howard Thurman.

That was the theme of the workshop - coming alive - but I wondered “what does that even mean - ‘come alive?’

The workshop was at a lovely retreat center in a forested area in BC, and as I ate my lunch alone by a babbling brook amongst the trees, I began to feel a bit anxious, so I looked around and noticed how peaceful my surroundings made me feel. Yet by the end of the day, I was thoroughly disturbed by an inner assessment that I was so NOT where I wanted to be in life. I didn’t feel the kind of alive they were talking about – I was stressed out and looking for change.

I wanted to come alive. I wanted more purpose and vitality. I wanted to make a difference like I used to when I worked in non-profit – I was working in tech where I wasn’t sure of my contribution to the “greater good”.

Soon after the workshop, under the influence of a growing desire to use my talents for something more meaningful, I made some hard decisions to leave my job and pursue something more inspiring. But when this was accompanied by what I know now was a spiritual awakening, what I had planned turned into a “calling” that would force some big changes that were uncomfortable, but rewarding in the end - because at last, I was about to come alive.

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Answering a call to "come alive" or other versions of that - like answering "what's my purpose?" or "why am I here?" - is not for the faint of heart - it invites us to expand beyond conditioned comfort. It's worth the journey if you go "all-in", and the journey is different and personal for every one of us.

I’ll spare the details for now because this is the beginning of a series of posts that highlight some of my process during the "answering-the-call-to-come alive" in the hopes of supporting anyone answering their own call to “come alive”, or just move forward in life in a meaningful way. I'll add that the story I'm sharing follows the "soul awakening" journey that guides women into and through the midlife phase of life.

But I’ll leave you with this: the image above is a collage made during an annual event called “Soul Art Day” hosted by Soul Artist Laura Hollick. I worked with Laura several years ago to help ignite and reclaim parts of myself that have been important for my “coming alive” - my inner artist and mystic. Using a process called “body-mapping”, this piece is actually a visual story of how I went from a seasoned communications professional to becoming the animisticly inspired spiritual director I am now. It’s full of magic, dreams, miracles and symbols that are personal, yet universal, and feel super empowering to me, and shows what can happen when you open to the guidance of your soul.

So that’s all I’ll say for now for this first “story blog” post - click on my About if you want to know what's behind the name Andorra's Box. I hope you’ll come on this journey with me, cuz there’s some pretty neat stories to unfold here, with themes of surrendering to a calling, healing the heart, igniting creativity, and leaning into love and life's gifts with grace.

Thanks for reading, and here’s to our aliveness!

2) The Art of Change…

Originally published on 7 July, 2017

...and the value of honest soul-searching.

Have you ever felt stuck, like in life? At a fork in the road, looking at options, maybe facing some unknowns – maybe in a rut? It's pretty common, and often necessary if you want to live the life you're meant to, in my humble opinion.

In my first post I wrote about an experience that poked me on the inside when I went to a workshop that triggered a call to “come alive”. I was feeling pretty stuck, and at the time, I was a successful Change Management professional for a growing business intelligence software company during the turn of the millennium. I loved and thrived working there, and it required a certain comfort level with change and growth and came with oodles of opportunities to exercise my creative muscles, only we called it “developing competencies” - problem-solving, innovation, teamwork, leadership, etc.

As it aligned with my personal life, my career successes gave me some pretty sweet fruits to enjoy, yet as time moved on and the company was swallowed by bigger corporate fish (such is the world of tech), the rate of change became more challenging to manage professionally. I wondered what else was possible career-wise, and some personal issues were aching for attention - my health, my creative desires, my shifting values, my interests in holistic wellness - so I started tuning to what I and others call the “inner compass” because I could no longer see my future on the trajectory I was on. This was pretty scary because I had invested a lot of time and energy into my professional life.

So I activated my soul-searching muscles - asking "if I'm not happy, what am I going to do about it?" - which wasn’t unusual for me, being a “grow with the flow” kinda gal.

But my inner compass pointed me straight to the edge of a cliff and said “wake up and look around – it’s time for a soul adventure”. The part of me that loves variety and a good challenge was craving relief from the stress of work, so allowing the inner tension to guide me, I knew and felt my instincts telling me my time at the company was coming to an end. I flirted with the idea of moving on - lots of my colleagues were doing it since recent corporate restructuring - and when I got honest with myself, I accepted that I wanted to go back to school then work as a consultant. I felt it coming for a while and indulged some "what if?" type imagining - after all, I had a bunch of experience and knew colleagues who were finding success as consultants.

When a wise friend referenced the quote “leap and the net will appear,” my insides rumbled and an inner voice asked "are you really going to keep living like this?" (i.e. stressed out and uninspired). So without a real plan for what I'd do next, I jumped, I leaped - I resigned and got to work researching schools. It felt liberating AND scary – I love learning and academic pursuits but I was on my own, away from the colleagues I adored and had become like family. I kept in touch with a few of them as they cheer-led me on - “go self-actualize!” one of them said. I also heard “fly - be free!” and “damn, you've got guts” and everyday on my way home, I passed graffiti on an abandoned truck that read “Reach tha stars,” which I interpreted as "raise your sights high and see a bigger picture" when it came to my circumstances.

Change was in the wind...again. I had been here before, transitioning between jobs - the last big one over a decade before resulted in a cross-country move and whole lot of opportunity - so what could go wrong?

So within 3 months of leaving work, I was back at school in a program that would certify me as a "Wellness Counsellor" - yay! I went in with the enthusiasm of a true academic keener, and after the novelty of the change of scenery wore off, that’s when life got REALLY interesting, and where I’ll leave things for now. There's a heroine's journey to unfold here…

These days, my practices of reflection and contemplation are almost daily activities, so I finish here, as the summer sun sets and the waxing moon rises, wondering how many people are feeling stuck right now…..hmmmmm…..probably a lot. I hope they pay attention.

Thanks for reading, dear you!

PS: if these words reach anyone who feels stuck read this.