Originally published 25 July, 2017

You know when you meet someone new, it's kind of programmed into us to pleasantly ask "what do you do?" meaning "what do you do for a living?" So when I tell people I’m a “spiritual director, mentor and coach” they usually get the “mentor and coach” part, but follow up with “what’s a spiritual director?”

So depending on who I’m talking to, I usually say something like "it's a special kind of counseling where I partner with people to help them process life's questions, challenges, and opportunities through a spiritual lens," which usually then elicits a conversation about my experience and credentials.

Being part of a community of other spiritual directors, it's comforting to see this is an ongoing conversation we have - what do we do? There's agreement we listen. There's agreement we invite soul, spirit, god, the universe into the room. There's agreement we are all on a journey. There's agreement compassion fuels our core.

I recently received my July issue of Listen, the beauty-and-wisdom filled bulletin I get from Spiritual Directors International, and alongside a poem called Anahata* is the description:

“Spiritual Directors are individuals committed to helping others seek and find connection with a higher power, however that power might be defined…and regardless of the particular spiritual configuration or orientation of the directors and seekers.”

As I read, I noted "there's that word: 'seeker'" - I had been called that a few times in my life, and didn't really know what it meant until I looked it up a few years ago when I was processing my own options.

When I felt the simplicity of the definition of seeker....hmmmm attempting to find something....I wondered, "what was I looking to find?" A 'higher power?' I don't know about that. No. I just wanted peace of mind and a plan.

In my first two posts where I talked about my call to “come alive” and “the leap” I made to answer that call, I was tending to some challenging self-realizations that I had possibly gotten “off course” in my life, which felt pretty serious and solemn (has that ever happened to you?)

I had been asking myself things like “why did certain things happen the way they did?”, and “how did I get HERE?” and “what now?”

So after I left my job, I was pretty happy to get back to school and enrolled in a program to become a Wellness Counsellor - I had already embraced some wellness focused goals to address some minor health issues, and I was feeling great. But as much as I was enthused to take a new professional tack, with my sights set on becoming a wellness consultant after I finished my program, things went sideways pretty quick. I soon learned the program wouldn’t give me the credentials I wanted. Then I blamed myself for enrolling before asking some important questions.

This realization triggered internal nervousness and feelings of OMG - what am I doing? So I reflected on what I had to work with: in support of my wellness goals, I had been exercising my spiritual muscles with a yoga and meditation practice. I read voraciously, watched inspiring new movies about consciousness, and was a member of the Institute of Noetic Science which came with their magazine Shift. I was also a regular reader of local free zines called Common Ground and Shared Vision, and, all together, these focuses inspired a holistic and maybe spiritual approach to assessing my ongoing education and professional aspirations.

This felt a bit strange, being a card-carrying agnostic atheist, believing less in one higher power and more in the mystery of life.

So I went to meditation sanghas at my local Buddhist center and learned about suffering and finding “refuge in the Buddha.” I went to wellness expos for inspiration, where I was given a little card from an exhibitor - it said “Help can come as a nudge, a dream, or a quiet voice within you.”
I asked for advice from friends and former colleagues - one of them introduced me to the concept of the “higher self” and advised "pay attention to your dreams at night." Then she shared how to call on four specific archangels for healing and guidance. Angels? Really? OK, I'll try anything at this point.

I had enriching conversations with other seekers and teachers, and soon my intuition started to tune into the idea that my time in the program might not last much longer.

And soon after that, the “whispers” started - I started to hear that inner quiet voice that people told me about! It took me by surprise because it seemed to be me, but not me - it was like it was from somewhere else.

On my way home one evening, as the sun was setting, I walked by the truck that had the Reach Tha Stars graffiti on it, when I heard one of those whispers - “look down.” And there by the curb was a broken coffee mug with hearts all over it. I gulped and choked on my breath and started to tear up a little, and didn't know why. I stopped, took a deep breath - then I heard “it’s time to mend all your broken hearts.” Somewhat surprised, I kept walking, only with a sinking feeling, feeling the emotional weight of piled up hurts and regrets. Ugh.

But I had been practicing walking meditation, and the early autumn evening breeze and the golden sunset seemed to invite me back to "the now." So I took some deep breaths, slowed my pace, and started to enjoy the fresh air and the light and the sounds of my neighbourhood. Even though I registered what had just happened, I mused "how's THAT for the power of now?", which I was reading at the time (The Power of Now, by Ekhart Tolle).

And thus began the first chapter of what I would later call my “cosmic time-out,” which was all about surrendering to my heart and becoming a bona-fide card-carrying spiritual seeker (which is a pre-requisite for becoming a Spiritual Director, by the way).

So I end this post with a question: when was the last time you listened to your whispers, or your still small voice - has it even happened to you? Or tended to the needs of your heart? Or acknowledged you might be a seeker too. Not sure? Then get in touch and let’s chat.

Thanks for reading, until next time…..

*Anahata means "unstruck note" in Sanskrit and refers to the heart chakra and is associated with balance, calmness, and serenity. Here is the poem by Yogacharya Ellen Grace O'Brian:

ANAHATA

Listen with presencelike the fingers of a cellistlisten to the strings

Like the moon listens to the sunlike a bee listens to the fuschia bell

and loses himself in the whorl

Like the mind listens to the heart

tastes the sound of bliss

and the Self again.